1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:06,070
It's a country beef stew -- whatever that
means -- with mushrooms and shallots.

2
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,430
- Shallots?
- Yeah.

3
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,390
And suddenly she's too good for an onion.

4
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,830
- But I've done you a pork chop.
- What are you having it with?

5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,070
- Rice.
- Rice?

6
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,710
- You seen my phone?
- Yeah, it's on the table.

7
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,310
- It's not.
- Rice?!

8
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,670
Yeah, what's wrong with rice?

9
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,430
Oh, you're kidding me, Cathy.

10
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,390
Please. Rice?

11
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,670
- It's there, love.
- Where?

12
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,150
- It's there.
- Where? Seriously, Mum, it's not here.

13
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,310
Oh, yeah.

14
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,710
Can you clear the table
for your grandad, love?

15
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,350
Yeah, yeah.

16
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,750
You know, I once saw a man
who had it with a chicken.

17
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,510
Are we still talking about rice?

18
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,150
I mean, it's bad enough killing the thing,

19
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,710
but then to serve its lovely
corpse on a bed of rice...

20
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,230
It should be banned.

21
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,710
It's depraved.

22
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,470
I don't know how you people can eat it.

23
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,750
- What's he talking about?
- Rice.

24
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,110
Hm.

25
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,590
Is he worried about Maureen? Is she OK?

26
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,510
Yeah, the operation went OK

27
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,830
- and she's back on the ward
having a sleep, so... - Oh.

28
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,480
I made her a card.

29
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:05,800
Oh...

30
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,720
.. that's lovely, Kelly.

31
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,030
And how long did you spend on that?

32
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,590
Ages.

33
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,070
I got up early this morning to start it

34
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,510
and then I did it on my lunch
break and then I had it by my till

35
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,950
and then I finished it when
I got home this afternoon.

36
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,830
That's lovely.

37
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,590
And how easy would it be to sort
of, you know, remove or change

38
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,110
some of those letters?

39
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,680
Oh! Really hard.

40
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,310
It's perfect.

41
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,670
Thanks, Cathy! I'm going
to go and make an envelope.

42
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,750
What time do you want to eat, love?

43
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,830
I've only got to put the rice on.

44
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:46,920
Erm...

45
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,600
Here, let me do that.

46
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,230
You've only gotta ask.

47
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:56,920
Thanks.

48
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,630
Well, what time's Michael getting here?

49
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,160
Erm...

50
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,510
We're having his mum's pans.

51
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,350
Didn't he tell you?

52
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,470
I think his phone hasn't
been working, so...

53
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,950
Well, whenever we eat, we should eat

54
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,190
when he's not here, cos
he'll only get in the way.

55
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,430
Yeah.

56
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:17,640
- Good point.
- Hm.

57
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,400
Erm...

58
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:33,630
♪ I got my ticket for the long way round

59
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,510
♪ Two bottle whisky for the way

60
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,470
♪ And I sure would like some sweet company

61
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:44,390
♪ Oh, I'm leaving
tomorrow What do you say?

62
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,230
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone

63
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,870
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone

64
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,710
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

65
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,030
♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair

66
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,750
♪ You're gonna miss me everywhere

67
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,950
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

68
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:04,590
♪ I got my ticket for the long way round

69
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,470
♪ The one with the prettiest view

70
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,190
♪ It's got mountains, it's got rivers

71
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,310
♪ It's got woods that
will give you shivers

72
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,070
♪ But it sure will be prettier with you

73
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,470
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone

74
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,550
- ♪ When I'm gone
- When I'm gone

75
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,880
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ♪

76
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,110
Oh, hello, Michael.

77
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,070
Oh, thanks for bringing them.

78
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,510
Yeah -- I'm not stopping, I...

79
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,910
I enjoyed your speech
at your mum's funeral.

80
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,230
Oh, good.

81
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,870
Or not enjoyed it, but, like...

82
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,990
It really darked me out.

83
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,960
It really put the shits up me.

84
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,080
All right, mate? It's been a while.

85
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,310
- Did you get my e-card?
- Yeah.

86
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,590
- Did you watch it with
the sound up? - Yeah.

87
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,830
- Thanks.
- It's the least I could do, mate.

88
00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,280
The least I could do.

89
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,470
Mum! Michael's here!

90
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,970
Erm, I'm not... I've not
come to see your mum, I'm...

91
00:04:05,020 --> 00:04:07,200
Oh, yeah, we've got the flat!

92
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,710
Oh.

93
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,030
- Hey.
- Hello.

94
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,310
Sorry, Kelly asked me to
drop some things off...

95
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,750
Oh, lovely.

96
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,590
Thanks.

97
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,440
It's just some of my mum's pots and pans.

98
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,390
Didn't use them much.

99
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,600
She got them for half
price, off the telly.

100
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,670
- Is Derek...?
- Yeah.

101
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,470
Yeah, they're coming for dinner.

102
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,190
So just put the rice on

103
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,310
and boiling Reg's peas for ten hours...

104
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:52,150
- Thanks for coming to the funeral.
- No, it's...

105
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,430
I'm sorry I didn't...

106
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,790
No, you were busy.

107
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,000
Yeah.

108
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,310
How have you been? Good summer?

109
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,470
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

110
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,550
But I need to rush off so I'll...

111
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,910
I'll, I'll call Derek and
see when he is, er...

112
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,390
Find out what time he is...

113
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,110
The time is 7:10.

114
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,600
- Good evening, Cathy.
- How did I do that?

115
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,880
No idea.

116
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,590
I'm outside your house.

117
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:35,950
Listen.

118
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,640
I know. Really funny.

119
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,670
- Bye.
- It's like being in a zoo...

120
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,990
- Now, remember, look concerned.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

121
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,350
Yeah, but you've got to show
it in your eyes, don't just...

122
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,750
Oh, for God's sake, Derek.

123
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,510
I'm not going to take
instructions from... fucking...

124
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,270
Hello.

125
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,270
Hello, come in.

126
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,230
How's Maureen?

127
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,710
Yeah.

128
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,470
She's, erm, she's out,
she's just sleeping, so...

129
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,790
- Reg OK?
- Yeah...

130
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,550
Oh, that's such a relief.

131
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,390
I've been so, so worried about
those wonderful, wonderful people.

132
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,710
- She's been inconsolable.
- I've barely slept.

133
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,790
Well, you both look very nice.

134
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,750
Oh. Really? Ha.

135
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,590
- I haven't done anything different.
- No, me neither.

136
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,270
Oh, wow, look at you two.

137
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,870
- You've made an effort.
- Yeah.

138
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,470
That's what I've just said.

139
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,590
Honestly, I don't know
what you're talking about.

140
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,630
No. I always dress like
this on a Wednesday.

141
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,550
- "Made an effort"!
- Ha! No.

142
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,870
Not at all.

143
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:35,080
Oh, hi, guys, how was your
meeting with Pauline's ex-husband?

144
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,230
Why do you know about that?

145
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,080
I follow Derek on Twitter.

146
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,390
It's nice for people
to know what I'm up to.

147
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,190
That looked like a nice
cup of tea this morning.

148
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,870
Yeah, it was. It was lovely.

149
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,070
And really nice of you

150
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,110
to send your thoughts to the
victims of the earthquake.

151
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,320
It's important they know
I'm thinking of them.

152
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,190
Is Michael here?

153
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,390
- Yeah, he's in the kitchen.
- Great.

154
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,990
Why are we seeing Michael?

155
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,040
- Derek? - Mum! Do you see my
shirt?! I just chucked it down!

156
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,710
Erm! Yeah! Oh, there it is!

157
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,110
Would you mind giving it
another iron for tomorrow?

158
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,630
- It's been on the floor.
- No, I'd love to!

159
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,520
Thanks!

160
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:31,000
- This is the toaster.
- Oh, yeah, nice, that's a nice one.

161
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,150
Sorry, Derek, take me through this.

162
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,590
We're having Michael's
dead mother's toaster?

163
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,760
It does four bits.

164
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,030
It's a dead woman's toaster.

165
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,230
(It was a Best Buy on Which.)

166
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,430
I don't know what you're saying.

167
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,150
(It's Best Buy on Which.)

168
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,720
I only got it for her last Christmas.

169
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,040
Are we paying him?

170
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,960
What else you got?

171
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,070
- So, back to work next week.
- Yeah.

172
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,510
Would you say -- in your opinion --

173
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:11,310
that you've made the most
of your summer holidays?

174
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,110
No, love, probably not.

175
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,590
You should've gone to Laserquest.

176
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,240
That's true...

177
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,950
Is it worse being alone in the summer

178
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,870
than being alone in the winter?

179
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,390
It can be. Yeah.

180
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,670
The days are a lot longer, aren't they?

181
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,070
Yeah.

182
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,470
Though...

183
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,230
Little fact.

184
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,510
The days are actually the
same length in the summer

185
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,510
as they are in the
winter, in terms of hours.

186
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,750
It's just the amount of
daylight in the summer

187
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,550
that makes the days seem longer.

188
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,230
Oh, OK.

189
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,720
Yeah. Little fact.

190
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,240
I bought a lamp.

191
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,350
Oh, it's lovely.

192
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,390
It's shabby chic.

193
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,590
- Do you like shabby chic?
- Yeah.

194
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,830
- Got a load of it in our shed.
- Have you?

195
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,830
Let us know if there's anything
else you want to get rid of.

196
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,710
Yeah, well, you know, there's
tons of cups, plates, cutlery.

197
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,070
- Oh, great, well we'll
definitely... - Derek.

198
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,830
Is it all right if I
see Michael to his car?

199
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,030
Whatever.

200
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,350
I think that's a yes.

201
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,800
Sorry, she's, er...

202
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,550
She's really picky about
what she eats off.

203
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,790
It can't be made of plastic or
paper and she's got these rules

204
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,640
about what meals she will
and won't eat from a bowl.

205
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,000
You got that place in Spain yet?

206
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,390
- How was it? - It was
good. - Watch that. - Yeah.

207
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,070
I can say his name now and everything.

208
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,270
Geoff.

209
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,070
See?

210
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,550
- Well done, mate.
- Geoff.

211
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,350
"Pauline's husband, soon
to be ex-husband, Geoff".

212
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,070
Easy. No, it was good.

213
00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,720
I wore these.

214
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:02,870
- Make me look clever.
- Oh, yeah.

215
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,510
Waistcoat, obviously.

216
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,150
I shook his hand.

217
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,150
I chatted to his lawyer's assistant.

218
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,470
And I managed to get through the
whole meeting without crying,

219
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,230
or not crying but, like, having to quickly

220
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,630
get up and leave the room and cry.

221
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:18,350
I'm really pleased to hear it,
mate. And you look great, so...

222
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,350
Oh. Thanks, mate.

223
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,190
Yeah. I do my best. I do my best.

224
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,910
What am I, an eight? A nine?

225
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,640
Which?

226
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,470
Nine. Definitely.

227
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,470
Yeah.

228
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,440
Yeah. I mean, I know I'm not a ten.

229
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,320
She's in hospital, you see.

230
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,710
Yes, I know.

231
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:51,950
It's terrible.

232
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,430
She hasn't been the same
since our David died.

233
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:55,760
Mmm.

234
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,070
It's very close tonight, isn't it?

235
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,710
She won't talk about it.

236
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,870
But you can see that her
mind takes her somewhere

237
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,880
and it's hard to get her back.

238
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:08,630
What a pickle.

239
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:11,750
I think she's spent the past
couple of years trying not to

240
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,920
think about it... but you
have to, don't you, eventually?

241
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,950
I remember when I met her.

242
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,230
I'd just seen Frankie
Laine at the Palladium...

243
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,430
You seen the, er...?

244
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,180
Yeah. I'm just going to clear it up.

245
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:41,830
You all right, Uncle Derek?

246
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,080
Yeah.

247
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,950
I just thought of something funny
I could have said to your mum

248
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,920
about the dog poo. Wondering
if I should go back and say it?

249
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,830
It's too late, mate.

250
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,270
Really?

251
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,720
Yeah.

252
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,230
You're right.

253
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:06,790
The moment's gone.

254
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,470
It has, you're right.

255
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,150
This always happens.

256
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,750
- I'm actually a lot funnier than
anybody knows. - You coming up?

257
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,310
Yeah, yeah. I need a massive slash.

258
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,600
Eugh.

259
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,710
Well, thanks for helping
me scrape shit off my drive.

260
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,120
No, it's a pleasure.

261
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,200
Right, well, better let you get on.

262
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,990
- I've got to get back to mine, lots to do.
- Oh, I bet, yeah.

263
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,230
Me too. Really busy.

264
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,910
Yeah.

265
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,350
Well, it was nice to see you.

266
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,800
Yeah, you too.

267
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,760
You had any problems with your phone?

268
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,870
Erm. No,

269
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,160
I don't think so.

270
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,320
Oh, erm...

271
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,790
No... eh...

272
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:07,990
- I think what happened was
my credit ran out... - Oh.

273
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,910
.. and so things that were
meant to come through didn't,

274
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,070
and I've just not been
able to reply to them.

275
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,320
Or maybe I missed some calls...

276
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,110
The girls, er, stayed
on after the funeral.

277
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,440
Yeah, it was nice.

278
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:33,270
And... their mum's new fella came over.

279
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,480
How was he?

280
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,630
- Really, really handsome.
- Was he?

281
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,630
Beautiful.

282
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,270
Physically fit.

283
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,470
About the same age as her.

284
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,670
- Dresses well.
- Oh.

285
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,670
So, a lot like you, then.

286
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,420
Oh, she could barely tell us apart.

287
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,630
Did you have a good summer?

288
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,080
Oh, yeah, it's been crazy.

289
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,200
Kelly's taken me to
Westfield -- eight times.

290
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,470
Got the paddling pool out,

291
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,120
sat in that for a while, till
I realised how sad it was.

292
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,390
What else have I done?

293
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,230
Sorted out few of my kitchen cupboards,

294
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,950
defrosted the freezer,
went to IKEA to buy a box,

295
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,750
and ended up spending 200
quid... Oh, and the other day

296
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:25,070
I went round the house and
sprayed WD-40 on all of my hinges.

297
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,390
Living the dream!

298
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,840
Oh, yeah. No, it was OK, really.

299
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,440
Had a nice trip to Southend... Erm...

300
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:38,520
Yeah.

301
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,230
We went to Robin's. For pie and mash.

302
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,080
- Oh, did you?
- Yeah. It's still there.

303
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,550
Right, well, I'd better
go before the dump shuts.

304
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,790
Yeah, I'd better go and check on the rice.

305
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,080
Yeah.

306
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,200
Unless you wanted to stay and have
something to eat? There's plenty...

307
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,270
No, no. I've got some
stuff in the freezer.

308
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,550
Lasagne or carbonara.

309
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,870
They all taste the same, so...

310
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:20,960
Yeah.

311
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,550
Are you getting a place in Spain?

312
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,230
Yeah. Thinking about it.

313
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,240
If we can sell my mum's place.

314
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:41,600
Means I can pop over and
see the girls more...

315
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,960
.. now that there's
nothing to keep me here.

316
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,560
Enjoy your dinner.

317
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,510
You should get a contract for your phone.

318
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,910
It works out cheaper.

319
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,510
Ah, it means going in to
one of those stupid shops

320
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,600
and talking to a 20-year-old that
treats me like I'm brain-dead.

321
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,830
- By the entrance?
- Yeah.

322
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,310
You take all the fresh
bread, put it by the entrance,

323
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,240
and then imagine the smell when you go in.

324
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,430
Everyone would buy bread.

325
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,520
You see?

326
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,230
Dinner's ready!

327
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,480
Coming!

328
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,960
Oh, yeah, that was it.

329
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,070
We need to pay the deposit tonight
and the first month's rent.

330
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,710
Oh, that's true. Yeah.

331
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,550
We don't want to lose the flat.

332
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,480
No way.

333
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,750
Your mum liked the lamp.

334
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,000
Great.

335
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,910
- Can somebody get that?!
- Can somebody get that?!

336
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,150
Sorry, what is it exactly
that we're eating?

337
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,430
It's a country beef stew
-- whatever that means --

338
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,070
with shallots and mushrooms...

339
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,440
- Shallots?
- Yeah.

340
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,670
Well done.

341
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,160
Thanks.

342
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,830
- You all right, Michael?
- Yeah.

343
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,110
- Yeah. You?
- Yeah.

344
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,430
- I bought a lamp.
- Oh, great.

345
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,990
Yeah.

346
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,670
All it was, it was very simple.

347
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:49,960
She made me laugh.

348
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,830
- Maureen.
- Oh, yeah.

349
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,150
- Yeah, lovely.
- A funny woman.

350
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,670
They're like hen's teeth.

351
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,550
I must say, I've never met one.

352
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,310
The only thing I'd change about
her -- and I'd say this probably

353
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,310
goes for all women -- I'd have
had her a little more obedient.

354
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,510
Yeah... Isn't it?

355
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:09,990
Sure.

356
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,390
5, 10%.

357
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,830
Nothing too cringeworthy.

358
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,510
- Just a little bit more manageable.
- Yeah. No, I totally get that.

359
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,710
The smell of them.

360
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,270
The fingernails.

361
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,630
I mean, I laugh because they're
men and that's what we do,

362
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,750
but inside I'm just full of loathing.

363
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,110
- Hello, darling.
- Hello...

364
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,550
What is this -- a meeting of the coven?

365
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,520
Mwah!

366
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,510
I thought you were going down the dump.

367
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,350
Yeah. I just thought I'd check

368
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,750
if you wanted any of her
stuff before I get rid of it.

369
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,470
Oh, OK.

370
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,830
What you got?

371
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,190
Oh, er... bits of old carpet.

372
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,200
Oh, erm, a little hostess trolley.

373
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,670
It doesn't work.

374
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:00,760
Her bin.

375
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,430
I'm OK, actually.

376
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:04,510
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

377
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,480
Well, I just thought I'd check.

378
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,990
Right, well, I'll just
take it down to the dump.

379
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,710
Thanks, though.

380
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,670
No, no, no.

381
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,190
He's made up that woman, babe.

382
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,910
Don't change the subject, babe.

383
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,320
I'm just going to hang
these up, if you want to...

384
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,760
We are getting a flat,
I bought a lamp for it.

385
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,790
You're avoiding, babe.
This is classic avoidance.

386
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,390
OK.

387
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,920
Let's watch the film.

388
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,350
I'm sorry, but why can't
I talk about the fact

389
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,750
I'm moving into a flat
with the man I love?

390
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,310
Can we watch the film?

391
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,550
This is stupid, babe.

392
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,550
You need to address, basically,
what the fundamental issues are

393
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,560
on your emotional wavelength.

394
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,000
It's just..

395
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,000
It's just, it's difficult
for me, isn't it?

396
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,670
Yeah?

397
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,880
- Yeah.
- Why?

398
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,080
Because...

399
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,600
.. you've gotta think about my
mum coming back here on her own.

400
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,750
And, like, living here,

401
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,120
it's like my dad's still with me, sort of.

402
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,760
And it's not going to be like
that if we move and stuff.

403
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:09,590
So it's not like all that simple
actually as just moving out

404
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,000
because I love you or lamps or anything.

405
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,030
Oh, babe...

406
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,800
I want to watch the film.

407
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,430
Hm, Geoff just texted to
say he liked your glasses.

408
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,510
You, er...

409
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,800
Viresh said you shouldn't be texting him.

410
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:48,160
And, er, to be honest, I don't
really like it all that much either.

411
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:57,800
Sorry.

412
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,360
That's OK.

413
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,910
Oh, Christ...

414
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,230
And there was me thinking you were dead.

415
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,470
I'll... I'll cancel the party.

416
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,670
Yeah, well, I will be soon,
and then I'll haunt you.

417
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,070
You bloody would, as well.
You bloody would haunt me.

418
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,830
I will. I'll scare the fuck out of you.

419
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,750
I still won't get a moment's peace.

420
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,110
Even when you're dead, you'll
be making my life a misery.

421
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,590
I'll be hovering at the end of the bed.

422
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,630
I wouldn't put it past you.

423
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,110
I'll wake up in the night, I'll see you

424
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,390
hovering at the end of the bed

425
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,270
and I'll say, "Oh, God, she's still here.

426
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:33,670
"There's no escape."

427
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,230
I've bet you've been worried.

428
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,070
Of course I wasn't worried!

429
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,640
It takes more than that to kill you.

430
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,350
I should know.

431
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,230
I've been trying for years.

432
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:05,120
- New chairs?
- Oh, yeah. I found a place in Harlow.

433
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:12,150
You know, I was thinking -- I've
probably missed the dump now.

434
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,510
I thought maybe I should
just stay for dinner,

435
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,720
- if that's all right?
- Yeah.

436
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,630
No, I just thought, you
know, it smells, smells nice,

437
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,880
it would be nice to have some
stew -- catch up with everybody.

438
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,680
Only a frozen meal at home. It'll keep.

439
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,190
They're disgusting, really.

440
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,110
They're actually really
incredibly hard to eat.

441
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,560
You have to cover them in ketchup...

442
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,240
Yeah, of course, help yourself.

443
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,800
- There's rice.
- Thanks.

444
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,790
- Everything OK?
- Yeah, it's lovely.

445
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,470
Mm. It just looks so delicious, Cathy.

446
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:55,710
Oh, good.

447
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,600
Really, really fantastic cooking.

448
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:01,870
That was good.

449
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,630
Just got to give it a
bit more in the eyes.

450
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,350
I was giving it in the eyes, Derek.

451
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,640
Incredibly genuine...

452
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,110
♪ I got my ticket for the long way round

453
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,190
♪ Two bottle whisky for the way

454
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,870
♪ And I sure would like

455
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,470
♪ Some sweet company

456
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,750
♪ And I'm leaving tomorrow

457
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,150
♪ What do you say?

458
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,950
♪ When I'm gone

459
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,670
♪ When I'm gone

460
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,190
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

461
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,230
♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair

462
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,430
♪ You're gonna miss me everywhere

463
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,000
♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ♪